SUNDAY MOAN: LA ROCHE-POSAY EXFOLIATOR (GRIT!)

It is no secret to anyone that knows me that I am a beauty product hoarder. And with that I put my hands up and say, I am dumb. You see, I know that I don't look any better if I buy a £30 moisturiser but I do it anyway. My main reason for this is that it makes me happy when I look at the pretty packaging. It's not so much that I love beauty products as it is that I love BUYING beauty products.

I sit, cross-legged, surrounded by all of my pretty things and then sometimes if I'm really excited I roll in them (note: try to refrain from doing this with make-up, I smashed a new contouring kit just a few days ago and I am distraught).

So let me tell you about this week. I have spent £80 on beauty products. I should feel ashamed, I know, but I don't. In my mind, they were all bargains. Except for one.

After spending many hours of my life on feelunique.com, I finally settled on a new facial exfoliator. Because why wouldn't you pay good money for grit to rub on your face? Especially when the builders next door have a bag of sand stationed outside the house.

I'll tell you why.

Reviews. After my previous rant on The Babble (on book reviews), let me tell you about the beauty reviews. I was browsing through my favourite brands and I found a La Roche-Posay exfoliator that looked alright. Everyone bloody loves it. So I put it in my basket. £10. Not too bad. Averagely priced I'd say.

Ok, so I didn't read the product description. But £10 for a 50ml tube of exfoliator?! I've checked, all of their other products are similar prices for four times the amount. Why did no one mention the fact that they paid £10 for a travel sized exfoliator?! The worst thing is that it isn't even travel sized! It's full size! Do they only expect me to use it 3 times in my entire existence?! That would be the only way that they would even get an 'it's alright' review from me.

I haven't even used it yet. I'm too scared to open it incase a bit pops out that I wasn't intending on using and then it's wasted.

I'M FURIOUS. 50ML. GRIT. £10. AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING.

People of feelunqiue.com, you are a disgrace.

TWITTER'S MOST FOLLOWED ON: OCTOBER

I have decided that every month I will do a little treat for you all (I know it's now November but you have to start somewhere). I want to start a series of posts called 'TWITTER'S MOST FOLLOWED ON:'.  As it stands, the world's most followed accounts on Twitter, in descending order, are: Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, Barack Obama, Youtube (what?) and Taylor Swift. So without further ado, here is what Twitter's most followed got up to in October...

October has been quite an important month in terms of world news. Britain finally handed over Camp Bastion to the Afghan army, Ebola has continued to cause pure devastation across Africa and the South African law system failed at trying to prove itself by giving Oscar Pistorius 5 years imprisonment. 

Twitter's most followed, on the other hand have had some other things to think about this month. For example, Betty Crocker has discontinued Rainbow Chip Frosting and Katy Perry isn't too happy about it:

Youtube are way too busy to think about what's going on in the World because well...National Cat Day:

And before Taylor Swift started annoying the fuck out of everyone with her lame album promos every second of day, she pretty much just kept letting everyone know when her annoying promos would start i.e. her way of saying 'You didn't think I could get any more annoying and desperate but watch this':

Finally, we come to Barack Obama. As one of the World's most important leaders, I am relying on you, Obama, to restore faith in mankind. As President of the United States, October was a crucial month for Obama's twitter feed. It was time to push all of the important worldly happenings aside and spam us all with really impressively staged looking photographs with disappointing quotes plastered over them because the midterms are here again:

Unfortunately, Justin could not be included in this post because most of his tweets included a picture of his face and I really can't cope with any more of that on the internet.

Keep up the good work, Twitter!

HOW TO WRITE A DISSERTATION - SHANNON STYLE

It's got to my final year of university and everyone keeps droning on about this thing called a 'dissertation'. Yes, I get it. I have to write a lot of words in an artsy, fartsy way.

Do I want to write it?

No.

Will I write it?

Yes.

Essay are not something I excel in. I have had far too many debates with exam boards in my time but those Ds have always stayed at Ds. At university though, I have been doing well as far as essays go. If writing them the evening before the hand in and somehow getting a 65 can be deemed as well. Therefore, I have decided to write you a list of how to be as great as I am at dissertation planning/writing. You can thank me later.

1. Get a really cute notepad. 

Getting a really cute notepad ensures that you never write a single word of any dissertation research because you don't want to ruin it with your ugly handwriting.

2. Get 5 million books out and keep them on your desk.

Go to the library, take out all of the books that might link to your topic in any way and spend the next 4 months renewing them and then paying £20 worth of fines because you haven't even read the blurb yet.

3. Sign up to Netflix.

Everyone needs a break from thinking about doing their work sometimes. What's a better way to refresh than watching Louis Theroux documentaries and A Bug's Life?

4. Buy a lot of pasta.

You will need many beige foods to get you through the midnight sobs during your Netflix marathon.

5. ALWAYS plan your speech before a tutorial.

This is a crucial technique for all students to master before they start their third year. Make a list of three things that you planned to do this week and say you did them. Find some loose evidence that can back you up in some way. You must remember that a lot of your marks are down to professionalism. You are a professional liar.

6. Stock up on cleaning products.

It's amazing how annoying a bit of dust can be when you have work to do. Taking a day out to clean the house because you couldn't possibly do any work with the mess is as equally ok as it is great procrastination.

7. Make sure you have some nice things in your usual working environment.

You are going to be spending a lot of time looking at those walls and thinking about how Harry Styles will propose to you. You might as well make them pretty.

8. Extend your overdraft by at least £300.

Your tutors tell you that you will need extra money in your final year to go out and research things first hand. The truth is that you actually need extra money for the amount of online shopping you do in your 'study breaks'. It's completely fine for those breaks to last longer than 3 hours and to cost £100 a go.

9. Buy a book.

Why not? Your deadline isn't for another few weeks. Might as well kill some time with a completely unrelated novel.

10. Get your mittens out.

With most dissertation deadlines being straight after Christmas, the months are chilly during dissertation writing time. Gas is expensive. So sit in your room. Put a hat on. Get into bed. But DON'T buy gloves. If you wear gloves it is still possible to do your work. You have no excuse. However, if it is extremely cold and you only have mittens, it is fully understandable that you are completely incapable of picking up a pen.