I hope you all had a truly wonderful Christmas and got spoilt rotten by everyone you know. Let's not get into the beautiful birth of our beloved Jesus Christ in his little baby manger. Let's think about why we really love this time of year. Family, chocolate, cold meat, alcohol...
Presents. I am surrounded by them as we speak. I have my nice new candle burning and I am drinking tea out of my new teacup in my new pyjamas with a new face mask on and I am typing away on some nicely blinged out hands. All of which, gifted.
After a long shift of retail work today, I slumped on the sofa to watch the news. The BBC were questioning shoppers in my local town. One lady was rather angry that the gifts she bought and received for Christmas are now in the SALE. Can you believe it?! Who would have thought that novelty gifts would go into a sale straight after Christmas. Absolute disgrace.
Naturally, that grinds my gears. Therefore, I am writing a 'How To', coming from an experienced retail assistant, on getting into the right mindset before you leave the house to hit the Christmas sales. You will thank me.
1. Think about the fact that other people will also be out shopping today.
In fact, some people might even want to be in the same place that you're stood and look at the same things that you do. That is a normal thing. Most importantly, when shopping, you must remember the rule that if someone else is where you want to be before you are, you are technically in their territory. You wait or politely ask if you may be where they are too. Peaceful Coexistence.
2. Trolleys are for food shopping in supermarkets.
Unless you are using a trolley as a zimmerframe substitute, don't take it into any other kind of shop. You are a nuisance and should feel uncomfortable.
3. Sales Assistants are there to make the shop run smoothly, not your life.
Although this might seem a little biased, coming from a sales assistant, I assure you that this is true. They are there to help you find clothes, should you need them and for you to buy those clothes. Sales assistants are real people that have real lives. They are not below you or above you. However, you are in their store and should therefore treat them with the same kind of respect that you would if you were a guest in someone else's common environment.
4. Get off your phone.
Many times, people find themselves near shops. Many times, those people don't want to be near shops but must pass through the place that is near shops. Whilst you are looking down, texting, you are holding those people up. Shopping is leisure. When you are in a shop, you may lounge around on your phone. When you are walking near shops, don't do that. People have places to be and quite frankly, I could roll to where I need to be quicker than walking behind you.
5. Don't try and haggle sale prices.
You are already saving at least 50% on whatever it is you are buying. If you think it is still worth less than that, you don't want it. Put it down. You will embarrass yourself a great deal if you attempt to do this.
6. Just because clothes are lined up on a rail, it does not mean that they also belong on the floor.
They are not your clothes and other people would like to buy them. Hook them neatly back on the rail before they get covered in dust and child dribble.
7. Get your purse out whilst queuing.
Again, this links to the phone. Most people are on their phone whilst in a queue so don't really acknowledge the fact that by the time it is their turn, they are completely unprepared for what is about to take place. Almost like they forgot where they are and need reminding. Where am I? What am I doing? Why do I have these clothes in my hand? These questions should not run through your mind when you are called to the till. You should already know these things by the time you get there.
8. You do not know or understand the Sales of Goods Act.
This might be another biased opinion. Arguing that you know the Sales of Goods Act will not get you any further in your attempt to get a discount. The likelihood is that the people working in the store know far more about what is allowed and what is not allowed to happen than you do. Just because you know the name of an act does not mean you should use it. Every sales assistant knows that line and every sales assistant knows that the person that says it has just shot themselves in the foot.
9. When driving to your local shopping destination, you must always keep in mind that you will be walking from shop to shop quite a lot today.
Therefore, it should not really matter if you are parked a little bit further away from where you are going. It is very silly to drive around for half an hour waiting for a space right outside where you want to be. Also very immoral (and illegal) to park in a disabled bay just because you are 'popping in'. (Mother and Toddler spaces do not count. They should be free to whoever should want them because having a toddler does not count as a disability yet).
10. There is always time for an alcoholic beverage in a shopping break.
This is important. Remember this. If you get stressed, there will be a pub or a bar or a shop that sells alcohol. In time of stress always remember that alcohol exists. You will feel better and create a more peaceful shopping environment for those around you.
